“Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need”
-Hebrews 4:14-16
He Understands:
This month at Ukukhanya renovations on the center were put on hold and a majority of our time was spent attending to the many physical needs the individuals and families in the community had. Addressing these needs brought us into several people’s lives and gave us a chance to care for them. In our times together, we’ve had the great privilege of getting to know many beautiful people. There is one woman who’s story has captured my heart. This woman, who I’ll call Grace, has deeply challenged my faith and led me into a greater dependance on Christ.
We first met Grace on a home visit with Pastor Prince. We made our way down a small dirt path to a small brick house where Grace’s mother welcomed us. She hugged me and quietly repeated thank you in Zulu, “ngiyabonga, ngiyaonga.” As we introduced ourselves Prince explained to us that earlier in the week this woman walked across the township to Ukukhanya seeking help for her very sick daughter. After exchanging a few hugs and words we walked through the doorway of their little home and met Grace. Her mother introduced us and explained why we were there. It didn’t take long for Grace to open up and explain her families struggles and the help they needed to survive.
Listening to Prince’s translations of their conversation we found out that Grace is twenty-six years old with three children. In their little one room brick home her mother, her three children, and two of her sisters children stay together. All of them sleep on the double sized bed that filled the small space they lived in. The two shared with us their struggle to grow enough food to feed their family in the cold weather and without any consistent income. Sadly their struggles didn’t stop there. As the conversation continued we learned that Grace is HIV positive and had been battling greatly over the last month. Without any source of income, as well as being physically unable to make it to the clinic, she was without proper medical attention for months. Our visit to her home that day was her first opportunity to visit a clinic and receive the medical attention she needed. In previous emergency situations Grace’s mother attempted to push her in a wheelbarrow up hill on the rough dirt roads 4 miles to the nearest clinic. There was no question that Grace and her family needed help. We phoned a doctor at the clinic and took her in immediately. As I helped Grace walk down the narrow dirt path to our car I tried to gather the right words, but our conversation was brief. I asked “How are you feeling? Can I help or do anything to make you feel more comfortable?” She answered me quietly “I’m okay. No thank you, I’m fine.” I didn’t know what else to say. I could only think that in the midst of our suffering nothing compares to the relief and comfort we feel when someone can say, “I know exactly what you’re feeling.” When we suffer we want someone we can relate to and someone who can walk through the mess with us. In that moment I wanted so badly to say, “I know” but I couldn’t.
At the clinic Ali and I sat with Prince while Grace received her first proper medical examination. As we waited, I replayed over and over in my mind our conversation back at the house and on our walk to the car. I looked around the clinic and in that moment found myself asking “God, where are you, and what can I do?” It was clear that this family was suffering in the broken reality of this world, but I would never know the pain they truly feel or experience. In all honesty, I felt inadequate to enter into their lives and care for them, because I would never truly understand what they’re going through. As we continued to wait, I wrestled with these thoughts, and the only thing I could think to do was pray. When Grace and her mom came back into the waiting room we heard from the doctor that her case was indeed severe. From the visit we learned that Grace has TB and arthritis, with AID’s as the underlying cause. We scheduled appointments for her in the coming week, to ensure that she would receive proper medical attention and medication to fight her disease. We left the clinic and brought her back to her home, telling her we would see her for her next appointment.
On our way home from the center both Ali and I were silent the entire drive. It wasn’t until we were almost home that I started to find comfort from the Lord in my confusion. I was reminded of the passage in Hebrews 4. Even though I will never understand the depth of Grace and her family’s suffering, Jesus does. “For we do not serve a High Priest who is unable to sympathize” (Hebrews 4:15). Christ came and suffered in every way to give us the chance to know Him. He truly is the only one who can say, “I know.”
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